marahmarie

Until sometime next year. I have a lot of things to do that either a) don't involve being on a computer, and b) involve not posting on my journals even if I am on a computer. Comment screening on both journals will go "on" as soon as I finish this post, and I will not be unscreening them or responding to PMs, IMs, or email, so seriously, if you're reading this, don't even bother. See you next year...if I feel like it.

UPDATED: So, how do you remove yourself as a moderator from someone else's community?

The night I wrote about being punted as mod, I was, indeed, punted: my name was no longer on the list of mods on the computerhelp Profile page. So I left my LJs in a huff, as I am wont to do now and then, and over a lot less, then broke my own promise to me to not check my own email for the next month and checked it tonight, not because I miss anything on LJ, but because my anti-AOL email comes in on the same email account as this dopey journal's.

Not only were the leaving-AOL masses crying out for me (I'm always flattered by that, and this was a perfect crap-load of email this time) but I saw I had been reinstated as a mod over at computerhelp.

Whoopee!

Someone can shove it up his ass because a) he never PMed me to discuss my removal from the mod position and b) he never PMed me to discuss my apparent reinstatement. That's just bad manners, which I detest, and anyway, I don't feel like being bothered.

In fact, I removed all communities I once watched from my watch lists on both my blogs after writing my post about computerhelp and I don't plan on dropping in on them again.

I'm really happy just helping my leaving-AOL readers on my blog and by email; I know just what I'm talking about when it comes to AOL, I own the content and the right to say what I want in response to anyone who comments upon it or questions me, and, in all honesty, I love these people who write to me about leaving or removing AOL, since their contacting me shows their sincere desire to untangle themselves from it, and I like to see that sort of spunk in a person.

So, here I am, here but not here. I might update anti-AOL a few more times this year since I keep thinking of shit to write and I hate not writing it while I still have a little time, since pretty soon I won't.

And I might write one more post on this blog before year-end: I had a funny incident with Google. Funny because they're idiots. This was an incident by email, and I managed to knock yet another seriously harmful phisher offline by writing to them, a fact that makes me proud (I have indeed saved your asses from untold amounts of online phishing and spam over the years - I would estimate it's up to the hundreds of thousands of pages by now, and I don't intend to stop anytime soon). :)

The next time anybody asks me to help moderate a community on LJ, will the rest of you please tell me why I shouldn't? First of all, as a co-moderator (not a maintainer, that's a whole different story) you have no control at all, and I am nothing if not control-happy. But all moderators who are not maintainers do is unscreen posts for publication. That's it!

So in the case of computerhelp, if a post doesn't meet community guidelines (which are not hard and fast rules, merely suggestions) but does not qualify as spam, I felt, since I was given no guidelines to follow by the maintainer ("There's almost no rules at all", he told me), that I had no choice except to unscreen it.

In the case of one of the recent posts I unscreened, the poster not only didn't follow community guidelines for posting, she refused to clearly answer anyone's questions in the comments, either telling people she was "too busy" to respond or to update her post properly or else giving us answers that just confused the issues more, until you didn't even know if she was talking about her own computer or her client's, or why it mattered which computer was the one in trouble anymore. It was freaky.

After three to four days of this little game I told her flat out:

So let me get this straight:

I don't know if I'm dealing with "the client's" computer or your own, I don't know if whichever computer connects by broadband or DSL, I don't know what version of Windows whichever computer uses, I don't know if whichever computer gave whoever any error messages, I don't know when whatever problem started, whatever browsers it's happening in - and because you are too busy to supply more information I should be able to figure out both cause and solution custom-tailored to who-knows-what operating system and connection configuration with no further guidance from anyone? Is that right?

The Profile of this community includes a FAQ that instructs everyone on exactly how to post. What is happening here - the inability of anybody to help you without knowing more - is exactly why how to post to the community is discussed at length in the FAQ.

I really don't know what else to tell you unless you can finally follow the rules laid out in the FAQ.

She replied that she thought my reply was "condescending" so she was deleting her post (funny she had enough time to do that!). The community maintainer removed me from the mod list pretty much immediately, as far as I can tell, since I went to unscreen another post after that and whoops, it wasn't there and the message on-screen said I was no longer a mod.

So what? Modding is thankless and boring.

It's just you and the Approve and Reject buttons on each screened post. Big deal. This had to be the most underwhelming "job" I ever had. It was so easy, I could unscreen posts while simultaneously replying to email, writing posts for my blogs, talking to others nearby and watching TV, all at the same time. Boring.

Strangely enough, my services were barely needed before Thanksgiving, but for the entirety of the long Thanksgiving weekend, I was the only person who modded at all, probably so mods and maintainers higher up on the "totem pole" than I am could enjoy their Thanksgiving dinners and visits with family and friends while I clung to a computer, ever at the ready to see to computerhelp's needs. That alone infuriated me.

Secondly, so much of helping out is stupid. You give perfectly good advice, but the original poster rarely lets you know if they tried it or if it worked. Or you give perfectly good advice, but the poster doesn't take it, instead passively-aggressively holding out, waiting for you to wave that magic wand I keep saying I don't have. What exactly am I doing to deserve, or getting for, the attitudes I routinely receive - in all communities, not just the one I'm discussing now?

All of it - modding, and even helping people as I always did before I modded - takes time, is stressful because answers have to be worded so carefully for clarity and to be understood by the poster at their unique level of experience, and for what? Does someone thank me for this? The maintainer never did, the other modders never did, and the posters rarely gave me any thanks, either.

But step just one little bit "out of line" on a poster who was already out of line herself by not following the guidelines in the FAQ in the one community I modded after I was asked to be a mod by the maintainer, and hasta la vista, baby...

Whatever.

Because seriously, I tried, I failed, I got used and thrown away like a dirty Kleenex, and I'm going to get over it - as soon as I remove every community I ever belonged to from my Friends list. I certainly won't miss getting taken advantage of by cjkline just to make his workload a bit lighter in computerhelp while I get, obviously, nothing in return for it, not even a kind or supportive word. I'm pretty much done with all of it.

I'm having either a) roast loin of pork, b) roast beef, or c) roast chicken for Thanksgiving. I've thus spared the life of every turkey that could have possibly died for my early afternoon meal.

On Giving Thanks

Living turkeys need to thank me for what I'm doing by not converting any of them into the typical dry, flavorless comestibles. No roast turkey. No fried turkey. No smoked, sauteed, or flambéed turkey this year - not for me and mine.

Don't know 'bout the rest of ya'll, but I simply cannot stand turkey.

I began writing for them about a month ago. My first article was a masterpiece of SEO goodness that hit slot #1 in Google results for its keywords on its third day in publication. It has remained in slot #1 ever since, even though they deleted it a week ago. Why? It's not "in the how-to format". The hell with eHow.

I rewrote the article about three weeks ago after an online acquaintance warned me eHow would delete it for not being in the how-to format. I told her, "You can't put this in the how-to format - it's about which add-ons are best for doing certain things in Firefox." But after that I did try to, you know, get it more in the how-to format. And I thought I succeeded. They deleted it anyway, even though it was making me money, and was well-received by readers.

It's like eHow wants to cut its own financial throat. All of its articles are covered in ads, which is how they make their money and give us our pay-outs, and my article was no exception: it was totally covered and smothered in ads. I think online ads are hideous, but I use AdBlockPlus with Firefox, so I don't care if there are ads as long as I can't see them on my own published content.

Coincidentally, my article did touch on using AdBlockPlus to block ads....hmmmm, wonder if that offended them?

Those ads were making money for both me and eHow, so why can't they loosen up and realize their format requirements are ridiculous? They hinder creativity and subject matter, decrease ad views, increase costs, and generally make the site a lot less informative than it could be.

Maybe I should write for about.com if I'm going to write how-tos - their format seems a lot looser, which is what I need, being the highly creative and independence-craving person that I am - I can't stand editors, I don't like rules, and I really can't stand - formats.

Oh, and I've had a huge headache for the last six hours. I'm not taking anything for it because supposedly treating pain is "bad" and just makes a rebound headache more likely, according to the latest research, so there's no doubt my suffering is just making me even crabbier than I would be otherwise over eHow's bullshit.

Seriously, I'm not in trouble (unreal, isn't it?). All I did to deserve this was to send LiveJournal a postcard. A Florida postcard divided into top and bottom panels. On the top panel is a big (mmmm), built (mmmm), dreamy (mmmm) clean-shaven dude (mmmm, mmmm, mmmm!) with the words, "What you want...". On the bottom panel are two ginormously fat, unshaved, flabby men laying on a beach with the words, "What you get."

I wish LiveJournal had posted it. I don't have a copy!

I wrote on the reverse, "Greetings to LiveJournal staff from sunny, manless Florida!" I listed both my blog addresses, and today I learned anti_aol was picked in a random hat drawing for six months of free paid account time. Which isn't showing up in my account admin panel, but I suspect it ought to soon (otherwise, *dread*, I will have to open a Support request). Got it - LiveJournal is on the ball.

So my boyfriend and I just got home. If we left the house ten seconds later maybe we never would have. Or maybe we would.

We were heading down Any Street a few miles from our house when we got stopped by a train. It was dark, there were three or four vehicles ahead of us, and the train took a few minutes to pass. While we waited, my boyfriend was telling me about...something. I don't know what, because I kept drifting off, thinking: "What if, after this train passes, another comes from the opposite direction, the gates don't come down in time and - "

Just then, the train we were waiting on passed. The gates came up and the cars ahead of us started moving. As we rolled over the tracks, I looked to my right, cupped my hand on my mouth and said, "Oh my God". My boyfriend said "What?" Before I could speak he floored it, literally standing on the gas pedal. We just barely made it out in time.

Another train was heading at us from the opposite direction. It was maybe 30 feet from us when he hit the gas. I can't say my life flashed before my eyes because it happened too fast. The bells never sounded, the train lights never flashed to warn of the next oncoming train; it all happened...just...like...that.

After we cleared the tracks, he looked back; the gate was coming down in front of the two cars waiting behind us, but the bells never sounded and the lights never flashed to warn them, either. I don't know if they stopped in time or got caught trying to get across.

I was so rattled that when we got to the store five minutes later I could still barely think straight. He drives for a living so almost nothing rattles him, but it rattled me plenty.

That's not the only time I've almost gotten killed with him, either. About a month ago I had to run over to the community college to pick up some papers, and just two blocks from our house, out on the highway, a car cut in front of us. My boyfriend had to swerve into the median to avoid him. He came so close to sideswiping us (which, just like tonight's incident, would have killed me first, since I was the nearest body to the oncoming wreck) my boyfriend laid on the horn just screaming at the bastard.

So I couldn't help but see someone criticized the very person trying to help her in the s2expressive community, on a public entry in her journal. I had seen Mike's reply to her post saying he didn't have time to help everyone with everything, so I jumped in with a few fixes myself, but then my polite side exchanged places with my more honest side, so before I was finished with my reply I was pretty much criticizing her for criticizing him.

Just for background, Mike has helped me for over 3 years in s2bloggish, s2_bloggish, and s2expressive, often when no one else in those communities could or would help me, so I feel some loyalty to him for what, to me, are pretty obvious reasons. He has always been polite, knowledgeable, patient, and quite helpful. So I took her talking trash about him and his community almost personally, since I know if he says he's too busy to be as helpful as people have been in other communities that she frequents, then that's what he means. He's busy. How does "He's busy" justify her prissy attitude when she writes about him and s2expressive - before he's even done answering her ongoing questions:

But worst of all I hate the S2 help sites here on LJ [that don't bend over backwards]. It urks me so much when I ask for help and they say, "Read this link." I don't want to read that link [wah, wah, I don't want my bottle!]. I'm asking because I want you to tell me [NOW!!!]. Because unlike most of the "rabble" out there [people suck except for a few other budgie lovers] I already read the FAQ's, tutorials, did google searchs etc [but I'm not looking hard enough so that didn't work out too well], and now I need a human to show me what to do [preferably by driving over, sitting down at my computer after I log into LJ, and doing it for me]. Pisses me off [I'm throwing a fit, damn it - I want people to bend over backwards, NOW!]. [....] Flexible Squares is the only community that has ever been helpful. They actually wrote the code and gave it to me many times [and even installed it for me right here at my desk]. All the others should be like that [wow - she might have a point!].

Since this is my journal, and since she likes to write inaccurate, untruthful, mean public posts about people on hers, I'm just going to spit it right out: what a brash, (but perhaps unintentionally) hurtful person she is. If it was my community and me she wrote about like that I think I would want to ban her. But I'm not very patient in the face of other people's rude ignorance; Mike is.

I knew once I read her post about Mike that she may be 15, 40, or 55, but no matter what her biological age is, she just demeans herself (again, perhaps unwittingly) by acting like a selfish little child.

I can't link to what she wrote to me in our first or next exchange on s2expressive since Mike froze or deleted it along with my few CSS fixes, not that it matters, since she claims in her next public post on her journal about s2expressive, which is actually a post about me, that I didn't "help" her at all, after telling me in two s2expressive replies that I did help her. I can think of a few things that might "help" her now, but none of them, unfortunately, involve any CSS.

Here's her reprint of our first exchange in Mike's community (warning: she truly can't spell):

(Me) Since you don't seem to know, communities like this one are not run by LiveJournal,

(Her) And it seems you would be wrong. I also did not say there was an Official layout community.

(Me) and no one who helps you in these communities is paid or employed by LiveJournal in any form or fashion to do so, ever.

(Her) When did I ever say anyone was being paid? Since you read my post then you would know that I've been around these boards, for several years let me tell you. I've been on the one for SmoothSailing and Flexible Squares. Of the service I've recieved thus far Flexible Squares has been the best. I'm very grateful to them and because of that know a pinch of CSS. Rest asured that the worst service or lack thereof I've recieved was on Smoothsailing [I don't care what "service" she received where, but hey, let her babble on].

(Me) Mike runs this community as a hobby in his spare time because he likes to help people.

(Her) Yes, he mentioned this already in the post above yours. No need to be redundant. If you had read my responses to him and the post on my journal you'd see that I was statisfied with the response I finally was given by him.

Now as for you giving me codes after I said I was satisfied with what I'd been told Thank You. Much appreciate it. I know "newbies" can be annoying at times, but as I said in my post I'd gone through the tags and faq etc. Nothing's perfect and things don't always work out as planned. Seems from reading through some of the post I'm not the first and I probably won't be the last. The first code you gave me worked great. The second one, I still have the add memories link for some reason. Hopefully it's visible in my link this time.

BTW I found the code for adding the subject image and fixing the overlap on my own by looking through the tags, so it works when you know what you're looking for.

And yes I figured that would be the problem with the widths and you are right, best I leave it alone.

But all the CSS in the world can't help her.

I didn't respond to her attacks; I just linked her out to what she still needed for her CSS. So over a week later she replied to the s2expressive thread again, out of nowhere, to continue haranguing me (again, this is another reprint of our exchange that she drew up on her journal):

(Me, reprinted from the quote above, as are all the Me's shown below) I wasn't sure if your attitude reflected a lack of knowledge...

(Her) And now you know. But This earlier statement sounded quite sure to me.

(Me) Since you don't seem to know, communities like this one are not run by LiveJournal...

(Her) You then went onto "inform" me as you had already assumed I was uninformed. You know the saying about assumptions. Had you left your response up to that point we wouldn't be having this discussion now and I'd simply have thanked you [what discussion? She's just coming out of nowhere with this new reply a week after I stopped "discussing" anything with her].

(Me) I think it's rude to say that it "pisses you off" that the level of service around here is not the same as it is in Flexible Squares.

(Her) See that's the wonderful thing about our private journals. We can post anything we want [but just because we can, doesn't mean we should]. It's called freedom of expression. Be thankful I'm not a newbie troll [yes, she is] or anything of the like that posts irrational swearing on communities. But on my journal I have every right to say what I want and point out things as they are [but it would be better on a friends only post if she must insult a very nice and helpful guy]. As for it being rude or not, I can tell you that it was the honest truth based [on] the services [what does she think LJ is - a day spa?] I have recieved. I make no apologies for what I say on my own journal [but hey, I think she should]. This is not the place to debate whether it was or was not rude [I'm debating this fact? No. Only saying that's what I think - that she was rude.]. It's a good thing you aren't a mod here because a good mod would know that you can only enforce rules within the community [right - that means if I was a mod (the correct term is actually "co-maintainer", but whatever) and there were no rules against it, I could and would ban her whiny, ungrateful little ass]. Anything said outside is not within their domain and certainly not when people have a right to express displeasure [again, he was trying to help her even as she insulted him on her journal - I don't see any excuse for this]. Again this place was better than some others so fear not I do not consider it at the bottom of the barrel [I don't "fear" anything, and I don't care what she "considers" Mike's community to be; I simply resent her attitude, but I guess that's not sinking in]. Mike was most helpful [even though she was trashing him even while he helped her, and yes, he was well aware of it] . Now show him, me and the rest some respect [bitchplz]. This is not my site and I've been around long enough to know how things work [however she wants them to work, I suppose?]. I will not discuss this with you any further, here [oh, really?]. If you are not done though then feel free to email [thanks for telling me what to do after telling me "I'm not done" when you are the one who started it up again, but no thanks].

Now that I have time, thanks for the link [I don't know or care what she's talking about at this point]. I shall peruse it at my "lesiure" [isn't she almost snotty-Brit the way she says that? I "shall"....mmmmmm...at my leeeeeeiiizzzure...]. Hopefully these [codes] will work [because if they don't then bitch, I will kill everyone].

Edited for bad html [yeah, no kidding - the entire comment, when I got it, was in italics. Not to mention her spelling...]

But wait! There's more!

Here's her next public post about s2expressive, which is actually about me, me, and nothing but me (if this is your first time here, I also post as anti_aol who she writes about throughout). What she does in this new post is to encapsulate my angry (and I do mean, I was hot) latest reply to her into another 3,000 word post in which she thinks she manages to succeed in scolding me for daring to...I don't know...offend her?

Seriously, who the hell writes over 3 pages about her own inability to accept the fact that I'm right? Over one comment in which I said she needs to be more considerate of others, which is the one thing that no one else has had the courage to tell her yet?

There's no way in hell I'm reprinting her latest post (it must have taken her the entire last 24 hours to write it), but I'll excerpt it. She has chosen to make a big production out of being rude to Mike in her high-falutin' and misguided belief in the healing power of "honesty" and "free speech", which the way she uses them, are just noble-sounding words for "being a nasty bitch".

Here's some excerpts from her latest post all about me:

Well here's a recap and wrap up of how the argument went. I can't call it a flamewar really because it was easy [easy for who? She seems more upset about it than I do just by going on and on with this].

(Her) "This is not the place to debate whether it was or was not rude."

(Me) It was rude. I'm not debating that fact. I'm simply telling you so. And seriously, I'm waiting for someone besides you to tell me I can't say so here, especially since I already did.

Oh so now it IS rude after she said that she "thought" it was rude before? Make up your mind, is it or isn't it [none of this makes any sense; I said I thought it was rude, period]? Point is it doesn't matter [yes, it does]. It's the truth. If that makes me rude then I'm rude and she has to deal with it [no, I don't. I said how I'd deal with it - with a banhammer]. I'll be pointing out more rude facts as this progresses [well, she is rude, so that makes sense]. As for someone else saying anything to her about it well there's only one mod and he doesn't seem to have the gall to lay down the law and tell her she was wrong [again, she is insulting Mike]. All he did was freeze the post which wouldn't have stopped me if I had wanted to continue this [holy shit, she really is a whack job to even say that]. I find it funny how people will block or freeze me after I tell them I won't [I mean, seriously, holy shit!]. I shouldn't be surprised because I have yet to meet one person besides my wonderful self [oh my god] that can actually make good on that word [ooooohhhh, check it out, folks - now she's gettin' tough and scary!]. This is why it's alwasy up to me to take these matters into my own hands [in other words: just accept the fact that she's a psychopath, OK?]. More on that later [this does sound interesting!].

(Her) "Now show him, me and the rest some respect."
(Me) Mike has my respect. I'm not going to comment on the rest.

Mike may have her respect but she's not showing him respect by responding back [really? So indulging her insane need to keep attacking me and letting her have her irrational last word over and over again is showing Mike "some respect"?]. And she still can't speak clearly [I can't? How am I doing now?]. No wonder she's confused and makes contradictory statements [I'm not confused nor contradicting myself; she merely has no reading comprehension]. I'll say it for her since she fails in that regard as well [wow, she's bossy, isn't she?]. She doesn't respect me and that's fine [I have no reason to respect her; she's a whiny, irrational child]. I lost all respect for the the moment [she lost respect for "the the moment"? How does one lose respect for "the the moment"? And yet she says I can't speak clearly...] she opened her mouth so to speak [I thought I typed out my replies to her, but maybe she uses a text to speech thingy or whatever]. She's been as helpful as a sack of rotten potatoes [oooohhh, after she thanked me twice for helping her! And she says I'm contradictory? This is getting good.].

(Her) "If you are not done though then feel free to email."
(Me) I was done two weeks ago! You started it up again...

God Almighty, she's still not done! Isn't this wearisome?

She goes on to say:

[...] As to why I just now responded? Simple she wasn't that important [yes, I was, to stay on her mind, like WindSong, for nearly two weeks]. I had better things to do [no, she didn't, she was just scared to continue before Mike finished helping her in another post she made to his community, so she waited until she got what she wanted from him before she attacked me again]. Now that things finally got boring [since she's a troll, and trolls can't take boredom] I decided to go back, see what had been said because I knew she couldn't stay away [after she badgered me yet again?], and INFORM her because we all know now who's clearly misinformed here. How much simpler can I put it? Oh and the fact that I had another CSS question [that she had to make sure Mike answered before she resumed her attack on me]. That's really why I decied to go look and to get some laughs at her pathetic attempt at a debate [again, I wasn't debating!].

(Me) If you want good things to happen for you, then don't talk dope about the very people trying to help you.
(Her) Good things have happened. Just look at my journal. It looks awesome. Almost worthy of me. [...] I haven't talked dope about those that have helped me [oh, yes she did, and I mean she talked dope about Mike]. I give credit where it's due [no, she doesn't]. This is another case of passive aggressive cowardiace where she can't say, "Don't talk dope about me because I've helped you." That's what she's trying to say, but you know kiddies...she hasn't helped me [second time she's denied I helped her after thanking me twice for helping her; again, she's quite contradictory]. Her first post was rought with errors [what?], her second post worked because she didn't type it out, it was Mike's post [Mike didn't type anything out for me so I have no idea what this little cuckoo is talking about]. So again, I owe her nothing and everything I'm saying about her she deserves [I don't care if she talks trash about me since like she said herself, I have zero respect for her. I simply care that she might have hurt Mike with her first post about him in her journal].

(Me) If you must talk dope, make it a friends only post. Is that so hard?

(Her) First off I don't speak "dope". My English is better than that [no, it isn't]. Not my spelling I'll admit but hey I'm dyslexic and I do catch most of my errors [she's not dyslexic, she's just stupid]. But I defintiely don't speak dope. That's for the illiterate hip-hop thugs. I do speak the truth and those that screw up I will point out [Mike didn't "screw up" - how dare she say he did?]. It's fun and my watchers enjoy reading about it [in other words, she writes this crap just to troll, hurting other people for her own amusement and that of her tiny crowd of trollish friends]. Besides public posts "piss her off" hehe [I never said "public posts piss me off", I said what she said in her public post pissed me off - and why is she tittering ("hehe") like Michael Jackson, anyway?].

I can't excerpt anymore because my eyes are starting to tire from staring at her blather; to summarize, she makes several more ridiculous statements which continue to insult Mike (such as: "If I can't eventually get [my layout] perfect I'll just go back to the Flexible Square style. Again, [a community with] the much better experience than Expressive") after he's given her so much help, then she spends plenty of time trying to tear me down and insinuates I "lurk" in her journal, which is so laughable considering I would never have known about her journal except for her snotty attitude to Mike in his community. So let's see what she badgers me about next. This post is public view but friends-only for comments, so at least she won't be badgering me (or any of you) here.

PS - Should I finally do as I'm told by her, since she likes to boss me around, and email her to come see my response? Her husband, who replies in the comments that she had disabled as of last night, is sucking her ass so hard for her supposed "brilliance" in her latest so-called rout against me that I'm kind of tempted to to invite both him and her back here for more.

ETA: Ignore me. As is often the case, I was lucky enough to figure it out before anyone could issue me any dire warnings about my low just-find-it levels. I had to dig through FAQ after FAQ but finally I got it. Finally (I've been digging through FAQs and clicking almost every link in my account settings for like an hour). :O

This might be the stupidest question I've ever asked my flist, but yesterday or today I became a moderator of computerhelp. The mod who invited me says that means I get to approve posts and so on. My question is, how?

Even logged in, I can't see a way to see the incoming entry queue; do I have to log out and log back in as the community? If so, does that mean I need a new password that's specific to the community?

Like I said, it's probably a stupid question - *blushes* - but since I've never been invited to mod a community before (I just create my own communities), I have no idea how it works.

I'd ask the mod who invited me, but he's moving to a new place and a little time-strapped from what I gather, so I'm trying not to bother him. If anyone knows thanks in advance... :)

Seriously, you get the most cracked viewpoints from people who add you as a friend on LJ because you helped them with a computer problem or a bit of CSS they struggled with or whatever. You can't discuss those very topics with them in their personal journals, not even when they invariably bring up those topics first, because:

• By virtue of the fact that you helped them out in the past, you almost automatically know more about the subject than they do
• The fact that you almost automatically know more about it than they do guarantees they will be offended if you respond in any fashion that equates with someone who knows more about it than they do
• Their level of offendedness is likely to shoot through the roof from the first instant they feel offended because they know you know more, so they feel insecure, like you're talking down to them and/or taking an attitude
• This "friendship" depends on you sitting back quietly as this easily offended person spins tale after tale of wrecking their computer or CSS with utter impunity, either through sheer neglect or ignorance, because one of the unspoken rules is that you must not offer advice unless asked; if asked, you must give advice gently and neutrally, as though you're once again helping the person out in a community
• When the person invariably gets offended that you know more than they do, an un-friending is in order immediately and it's always undertaken with relish and delight
• Once all of this has occurred, the other unspoken rule is that I'm supposed to crawl around on my virtual knees, begging for forgiveness for an offense I didn't commit.

Is that perfectly clear?

I'm sick of being used for what I know, friended for what I know, then thrown away at the slightest non-provocation that these so-called "friends" whip up because they are bitterly insecure and to top it off, either incapable or too lazy to learn. I deserve better. I helped these people to teach them, in part, how to help themselves, and the relationship, since there wasn't one to begin with, needs to stop right there.

So if I help you out in my other blog or in a community, don't add me as a friend; if you do, don't expect me to add you back. It might be great for you to add me on LJ to keep me, in a virtual sense, in your back pocket in case another problem arises that you think I can handle, or to add me simply because you're "grateful" that I helped you out, but most people don't want advice from anyone on their friends list, because they resent others for knowing more than they do, and I don't help out to make friends; I just help out to help out.

That said, this post is almost entirely dedicated to the last person to un-friend me because I knew more than they did. This person added me for my help in removing AOL from their computer years ago, and has been mildly entertaining to read ever since, in an "OMG, it's time to soak up the crazy" way. This person, after what I have been seeing for the last few days, gets offended at any advice offered out of that same sense of insecurity discussed above. This person had quite a bit to say about it in a mocking way to me on their journal last night before the inevitably dramatic un-friending of both my journals that followed. And I'm a let him finish, but first I gotta say...

What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

I'm going to be myself; I think that's scary enough.

Are you going to wear coordinating costumes with a friend or partner?

He's got so many get-ups I wouldn't know which one to coordinate with.